There is an age-old colloquialism: “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Nobody encapsulates this more than Steve S. Most people see a presumed tough guy due to his stature and history, but there is more to his story under the surface. He’s a man who values his family, his sobriety, and his community. He’s a man of integrity and devotion who always makes the next right choice.
Growing up in the San Fernando Valley, Steve had a conservative Jewish upbringing with his three siblings. He was attending Hebrew school at the same time as regular school, as his mother was a Kadima teacher, and could read Hebrew by the time he entered kindergarten. At the tender age of 13, his dad came home and broke the news that his parents were getting a divorce—world-shattering change at such a young age. Instead of staying with his mom and siblings, he chose to live with his dad and soon became a latchkey kid. Alcohol first entered his life at a Passover seder when he was only three. That’s what made that night different than all other nights. By the time he was 15, he was a self-declared “Weekend Warrior.” Football parties and regular weekend get-togethers abounded. Little did he know that the alcoholic gene would cause him to chase the magic down darker roads. Around the age of 18, Steve discovered cocaine and this would become his drug of choice (at least for a little while) and would lead to his first arrest as an adult. Possession. This was just the start and he soon found more creative ways to continue his habit—his favorite of which was freebasing. “By 24-25 I was a full-blown cocaine addict and alcoholic,” he reflects. His family intervened and sent him to his first treatment center outside of Vegas where he would meet his first wife in detox. After a short length of sobriety, they relapsed and eloped to Montana. He started drinking again and, after waking up one day, realized he had made a rash decision and fled back to the San Fernando Valley. While back in the valley, he came to the realization he did not want to keep living as he was. Contacting his father, he traveled to Palm Springs and stayed out there for about three years.
Steve got sober on January 24th, 1994, and dove into AA and being of service. “It was the greatest thing to ever happen to me…Palm Springs is a little community and I was like a big fish in a small pond.” He transitioned back to the valley to be close to his family and help in the business his brother started. Continuing his journey in AA, he met a woman, formed a family, and had a baby girl in 2000. At this point, Steve had around 6 years of sobriety. He and his girlfriend wound up splitting and eventually relapsing. After cops got involved and he would lose his daughter to the foster system for about six months. “I’ll never forget it, I had to watch the LAPD come take my daughter out of my arms.”
After attending a sober living in Canoga Park, endured all the trials of getting custody of his daughter back—anger management, parenting classes, drug testing—he succeeded. A grueling six months later he got his parental rights and 50% custody of the light of his life. His circumstances would, however, become a bit crazy after that. He met another woman, got married, and had a son. His marriage dissolved, his father passed away, he lost his job, he got into a car accident, and he wound up in the hospital where he got addicted to pain pills. Soon after, he rekindled some old relationships that introduced him to meth. Meth quickly became his new drug of choice. This would take his life in a new direction and, once more, he found himself behind bars.
Upon release, he absconded on his parole in order to see his children and get his life back together. Steve would get picked up again. This was the last time he saw his kids. When he got released, he put together a year of sobriety but, shortly after, relapsed on meth. This led to him reaching out to Beit T’Shuvah’s founding rabbi, Rabbi Mark Borovitz, who had been introduced to his brother. He came into BTS for the first time in 2008 and dove into all it had to offer, getting deep into the program and even becoming the house driver for the clinical department. When an altercation with another resident got physical, he was asked to leave for 30 days. Steve only lasted a couple of weeks at a sober living before deviating and relapsing. This would start a cycle of prison stints. “Ever since then, I’ve just been doing this turnaround. I’d go to prison three, four, five years. I’d parole and go right back to my lifestyle.” In 2015, he was once again in prison but this time he was doing well—becoming a mentor and active in NA as well as other programs. He got out and started working in treatment but it wouldn’t be long before he would find himself on a date with an ex and quickly relapsing. “She asked if she could smoke heroin in my front seat and I said ‘yes.’” Ends up he had a date with two exes that night: her and his addiction.
Steve would once more find himself imprisoned but the ladies of the Alternative Sentencing program would come to show support and essentially rescue him back to Beit T’Shuvah. Here he has become a Program Facilitator work therapy intern, he’s going to school for his CADC-I certification, his kids are back in his life, and he’s highly involved in AA and his program here.
While with Tammy from Alternative Sentencing, at a meeting with his parole officer, the FBI raided the room and charged Steve with a RICO case. At best, this would result in a sentence of six months. At worst—34 years. Because of the testimony Tammy gave on behalf of Steve’s character, he was released into the custody of Beit T’Shuvah. The case is pending for the next few years, but his spirits are high. Despite the enormous pressure, he says that Beit T’Shuvah has always been there for him. “This was my plan, to begin with. I was gonna do this no matter what. It’s not like I got busted and needed to do all this stuff. My whole plan was to come to Beit T’Shuvah, get my life together, and be a part of the community no matter what.” He’s taking things as they come and staying focused on the present. He has some apprehension and fear about his future and how his current case may play out b t he’s trusting in his Higher Power. He’s establishing solid relationships with his kids and family and relying on the support around him. Reflecting on the potential outcomes of this case he says, “I’ve never had to go do time where I’ve had this much support.” He knows the feelings surrounding his uncertain circumstances have the potential to be all-consuming and extremely overwhelming, but he’s learning to surrender these feelings every day. “I don’t really feel God has brought me this far just to dump me on my head. I really don’t think that’s gonna happen.”
Beit T’Shuvah has opened up Steve’s life to community and purpose. “No matter where you come from in life, you can find a place here.” He’s been exposed to a plethora of new people and new experiences, and he’s finding his place here and in the world. “You can’t go anywhere else and be treated like this,” he says fondly. “This is a place where if you don’t have anybody in your life you can come here and make a family. That’s like the greatest gift ever.” Steve gives BTS credit for the positive relationships with his kids, brother, and mom that he has today. He’s become an integral part of the community and knows that if he just stays the course he will be able to give back in a big way.
He knows that people still see him in a certain light, but he’s doing his part to separate the perceived image of him from the real Steve underneath the tough guy appearance. He’s got a sensitive side and a sense of humor about himself. Getting to know Steve, it’s easy to see that he is a man of abundance and easy to talk to. He’s also a big part of our community and we couldn’t imagine Beit T’Shuvah without him. Steve is the author of his own story—the book behind the cover—and anyone who reads even a sentence will be glad they did.