One of the first faces that many residents see in the morning is DJ, med nurse extraordinaire. With a sense of humor and a cute sidekick to boot (her support dog Dakota), she doles out the medications of each resident. But there’s more to her than just the pills she dispenses.
She has 34 years of recovery under her belt and a storied past. From nursing to acting to a plethora of gigs in the entertainment industry, DJ has seen it all. Hailing from Tucson, Arizona, she’s the fifth youngest in a brood of eleven. Growing up poor, with two alcoholic parents, DJ always struggled. Her parents divorced and her father left when she was around seven or eight. That’s when her mother turned to drinking and became abusive both physically and emotionally. By the age of 15, she was removed from the care of her mother and placed into the custody of her older sister. Four siblings joined her. Her brother took the rest. They stayed separated but close.
A year before this, she started drinking. She soon got caught. Seeing the example of her mother, DJ stopped drinking and switched to pot, justifying that they weren’t the same thing. “I wasn’t going to be like my mom. I drank a little bit and then put together the booze and my mother. So, then I stopped doing that.” It helped that she was dating the high school drug dealer. The weed would only carry her so far.
She was the first of her siblings to graduate and walk in the ceremony, and with the help of her older sister was soon able to find a program that allowed her to get into nursing. Her older sister made sure that she got into the program at 17, with this being the start of her career. DJ would work in a variety of nursing roles, at an OBGYN, a medical-surgical unit, and a psychiatric hospital.
DJ met a guy early on and switched back from weed to drinking, consuming wine and carrying a pint of scotch in her purse—the preferred drink of choice. “I went from zero to full-on lush in a week flat.” She was still functioning though, even as she would wake up drunk the next morning. Inherently, she knew that she needed to stop and sought out AA. Her first meeting wasn’t an ideal experience, seeing a “Big Book thumper” and doubting that this was the path she wanted to be on. Remembering an old friend in New York was sober, she called and inquired about his experience in AA. He called her back and gave her some pointers. She didn’t quite understand initially—don’t go back to that meeting; find women’s meetings; find a sponsor; find someone that has something you want. She went to her first women’s meeting two days later and found a woman who, while telling her story, was also full of a spark and laughter. DJ knew that was the woman she wanted to be her sponsor. Of course, she was hesitant to ask, but after one terrible day she walked right up to her and finally broke. This woman would go on to be her sponsor for 25 years.
DJ began to unpack her past and work through why she drank in the first place. It wasn’t easy. She had to learn how to stay present and sober, one day at a time. She cut off contact with her older brother, not being able to cope with his drunken phone calls. She had to learn to stay out of her own head. “I’m my own worst enemy and when I’m in my head. I’m in really bad company.” DJ learned when she was newly sober that her estranged father was also in recovery. Years earlier he had called to make his amends and she accepted it as an apology. Until coming into recovery herself, she did not realize this was him working the steps. “At the time I didn’t know what it was. He was just apologizing.” They were able to connect, though when she had just six months, over their journeys in sobriety, and would stay in contact until his passing. There were many hurdles throughout her sobriety: the passing of both her parents, memories of the way she’s treated others, the euphoric recall of the taste of scotch.
She learned that she had to work this program thoroughly to maintain her sobriety, something she still values above all else. “I have one truth I know: I don’t have a slip in me. I can’t expect to go out and think I’m gonna come back in again. It won’t happen…I can never forget that I’m an alcoholic.” For the first 15 years of her recovery, she did the Twelve Steps of AA every year. DJ then transitioned into doing them when necessary, sometimes every year, sometimes every couple of years. She still does the Tenth Step, every day self-reflection, as she doesn’t allow conflicts with others to rule her day. She has a home group and continues to go to meetings, speaks at meetings, and follows guidance she received from her sponsor early on: “You don’t say no to an AA request. Because something I say may keep somebody sober. Something I say may keep someone in their seat.” She admits that sometimes she falters but knows she has the program to keep guiding her in the right direction.
DJ’s sobriety enabled her to earn her Master’s degree in healthcare administration and informatics, allowing her to become the liaison between nurses and IT. Throughout her nursing career, she also got into acting and would go on to wear the hat of many roles in entertainment. From sound recordist on shows like 3rd Rock From the Sun and The Closer. She even acted in theater, and taught other aspiring actors. She still considers herself an actor and has her SAG-AFTRA card and worked her way up at Film Industry Workshops teaching fellow actors how to fall, take punches and shoot guns (she’s been shooting since she was five). She eventually worked her way up to being the director of the school.
After being retired for about three and a half years, she knew she wanted to give back and found her way to Beit T’Shuvah, where she has worked for about the same amount of time. She finds that working here allows her to feel rejuvenated on a daily basis. “It’s a family feeling, even as an employee. You feel family and I consider myself a part of the community, even if this isn’t where I got sober.” DJ loves seeing the growth of the residents and being able to connect with each one. Even if those interactions are brief, she knows that something she says might plant a seed that wasn’t there before. “Beit T’Shuvah provides the opportunity for people to live…the bottom line is if they’re sober they can live.”
34 years ago DJ came into recovery and never left. She continues to work a program that many aspire to. “My most important thing is my recovery. Whatever else I want to do, I can’t do it without that.” She’s a staple of many people’s mornings at Beit T’Shuvah. With a dose of wisdom, a dose of heart, and a dose of humor, you prove to all of us that there are no magic pills only magic people.