Jesse F. is a fundamentally unique individual—someone who seldom speaks until you get to know him, wearing a smile built of teeth that represent the degree to which this man has persevered through an extremely high-stakes kind of existence. He holds himself firmly, within a quiet poise that only allows one to see so much, and this is by design. Jesse is exceptionally humble. He’s low-key, calm, collected, quiet, and methodical—he will make you laugh, has the sharpest of memories, and comes correct with wicked baking skills to match. This is a man who, without a doubt, will be highly successful in whatever he chooses to dedicate himself to—as in the scheme of things, his life is truly just beginning. Upon meeting him for the first time, you probably wouldn’t suspect he’s been in a handful of high-speed pursuits or survived an onslaught of submachine gun fire from a police helicopter—though his cinnamon toast crunch twist on a rice crispy treat provides true insight into how masterfully Jesse articulates his passions in life.
His early years were a mix of fearlessness and testing boundaries. At four, he was thrown off his dad’s fishing boat into the ocean and swam back, thus learning how to swim. At five, he bought fireworks out of the back of a semi-truck. At twelve, he brought quarter sticks of dynamite to school, “we blew up the toilets in the boys’ bathroom…we were on the front page of the paper thanks to the fire department.”
Adolescence brought confusing transitions. By eight, Jesse moved to California with his mother; his father was supposed to follow, but instead remarried his mother’s friend, staying in Long Island. Later, at fifteen, he joined his father back on the East Coast, traveling across states and adjusting to new family dynamics. “My dad came out to visit us…and I ended up moving in with him,” he recalls. These experiences forged independence and resourcefulness, qualities that would later serve him in dangerous ways.
By twenty, after his father’s untimely death due to a heart attack, Jesse found himself back in California, grappling with loss, and searching for something to fill the space left by the sudden loss of such an influential parent—the two were extremely close. Within a month, he discovered methamphetamine at a house party with his cousin, “They put it in my Coke or my Pepsi, and I drank it…I loved the way it felt. All the misery that I was in, depressed and everything from losing my dad…that was all gone.” What began as curiosity quickly became fascination—not just with the high, but with the science behind the drug. Once he learned the drug was man-made, it was game on. His fascination with math and science through high school fueled the approach, as Jesse was drawn to the chemistry, mechanics of production, and the challenge of mastering it.
Within two years of that first meth infused soda, Jesse had taught himself to cook the drug—sourcing chemicals, understanding lab processes, and creating a product that was unparalleled for its time. He moved from experimentation to production, developing the skills that would define the next decades of his life: precision, intelligence, and an ability to navigate a dangerous world with confidence.
The murder of his uncle in 1996 was another turning point. “I was staying at my aunt’s house, and two detectives knocked on the door. They told me he was murdered the night before. That’s when things started going bad.”
Jesse moved briefly to Oregon to work for family, but meth and chaos followed him. Returning to California in 2001, he was caught in a high-speed chase, leading to his first prison term. Over the next two decades, Jesse cycled through incarceration repeatedly, “I’ve done six prison terms in the past 26 years…for the last 32 years, my life experience is methamphetamine and prisons. All the normal stuff people do in their twenties, thirties, forties…I’ve done none of it.”
After years of chaos and incarceration, Jesse found himself back at Beit T’Shuvah in 2025, after an initial five-month stay in 2022. He is now determined to rebuild the life he had never truly lived, “I recognize all the mistakes I made the first time around while I was here. So far, I’ve been able to correct basically every single one of them,” he said. The fear of relapse and return to prison has loomed large. “If I relapse, I go to prison. It’s just like…start your timer. Eventually, I’m going to prison because I’m just going to keep accelerating and doing dumber and dumber shit.”
Part of Jesse’s work at Beit T’Shuvah has been building the life he never had—relationships, friendships, and human connection. Despite decades lost to addiction and incarceration, Jesse has a sharp, strategic mind that has allowed him to learn, adapt, and survive in ways few could imagine. “I figured out prison…I sold commissary, I made alcohol… I figured out how to manipulate the system while being incarcerated. I supported myself in prison. Never had to pay for drugs, ate whenever I wanted, always had good clothes, never got into it with anyone because of the way I conducted myself.”
Jesse now channels that intelligence into his recovery, learning to navigate life outside of meth and prison. “I’m figuring shit out as I go now, but I still want to do stuff that I missed out on in my life,” he says. The lessons of his past—danger, chemistry, adrenaline, and extreme risk—serve as a backdrop to his present, “All the normal stuff that people do in their twenties, thirties, forties—I did none of it. Just drugs and prison. Drugs and prison. Drugs and prison.”
Yet within his story is resilience, self-awareness, and hope, “I’m scared of doing what I did last time…I recognize all the mistakes, and I’m trying to correct them.” Jesse’s journey at Beit T’Shuvah is one of confronting a lifetime of addiction, reckoning with missed opportunities, and learning to live beyond survival mode.
Even now, Jesse’s mind remains active, calculating, and unafraid of challenges. He is extremely active at BTS this time around—working for the Thrift Shop, managing kitchen deliveries, and holding a lead role with Baked T’Shuvah. A lot of work with Jesse’s recovery is accepting the decades lost, but also redefining what life can be.
From the deserts of California and forests of Oregon to the isolation of prison cells, and now to the structured support of Beit T’Shuvah, Jesse’s story is a testament to human endurance and the possibility of transformation. “I’ve had a meth addiction for 32 years…from the age of 20 when my dad died, that’s when my life stopped. Now I’m 52. I want to do the things I never got to do. I want to live.”
Looking back, Jesse recognizes that his curiosity, intelligence, and early experiences shaped his path, even as addiction and risk defined it. He learned quickly, acted decisively, and mastered what few could—but at great cost. Today, Jesse’s journey continues as he navigates recovery with clarity, humility, and hope. The same curiosity and determination that once drew him to chemistry now fuel a desire to rebuild a life he’s never known. He’s just beginning to figure out who he really is, what that guy is like, and how successful he can truly become. His story is proof that even after a lifetime of risk, chaos, and mistakes, transformation is not just possible—it’s waiting. And Jesse? He’s just getting started.
“For the first time in my life, I get to decide who I am—and I intend to make it count.”
